The Sydney Cityrail Misery Seat
August 22nd 2006 00:01
[SS classic]
The seating plan of a Sydney train may look like any other train in the world. Blue reversible seats arranged in rows... nothing exciting.
However there is a very special difference, and I choose to call it: The Misery Seat.
It's that cramped, solitary seat next to the stairs. Perhaps it was designed with social-phobes in mind because in this chair you can pretty much only sit in one position, not hold anything and not move. All you can do is stare. Also, since The Misery Seat is next to the stairs, your lonely shame and misery are on full display to the commuters about to descend the stairs to alight from the train. As soon as you sit down, the padding lets out a sigh but it's soon muffled as you become one with the despondency. It's an ideal spot to inject, quietly weep or to messily eat your problems away. It's also very narrow, so it only suits a certain body type.
Plus there's a sloping edge of the ceiling just above, meaning you also have to be short or have your head forced downward to sit here. And i'm not positive but I think electric shocks are generated every so often to help make your emotional pain even more physical. I'm sure they could have utilised the space more productively. Perhaps with a bubbler or even a small bidet, you’d think they would have rectified this problem for the future.
Then a few years ago, Sydney starting using Millennium Trains.
They are vastly superior to normal trains. An electronic display, the outside noise is reduced and pepper spray is not needed when trying to get a seat with padding. Although the petite are dealt a blow in life again since the seats are bulkier to flip.
It appears they've enhanced every other aspect of the regular trains. Even...
The Misery Seat! It's The Millennium Misery Seat with 50% more misery. It's even darker and smaller. City Rail have ensured maximum sombreness by placing another seat the perfect distance away to completely decrease the commuter's mobility. They've also strategically organised the lighting so that the chair in front casts a morbid shadow of failure against the The Misery Seat. At least on the other train's MS you could maybe cross your legs if you had previously had Polio, but not even the Liliputian clone of Anthony Callea could manoeuvre his own misproportioned head in this updated version.
Misery seats are all over Sydney, look out for them!
Ever been misery seated? Add a comment…
The seating plan of a Sydney train may look like any other train in the world. Blue reversible seats arranged in rows... nothing exciting.
Sydney Train
However there is a very special difference, and I choose to call it: The Misery Seat.
Miserable from every angle.
It's that cramped, solitary seat next to the stairs. Perhaps it was designed with social-phobes in mind because in this chair you can pretty much only sit in one position, not hold anything and not move. All you can do is stare. Also, since The Misery Seat is next to the stairs, your lonely shame and misery are on full display to the commuters about to descend the stairs to alight from the train. As soon as you sit down, the padding lets out a sigh but it's soon muffled as you become one with the despondency. It's an ideal spot to inject, quietly weep or to messily eat your problems away. It's also very narrow, so it only suits a certain body type.
called so due to its overwhelming misery
Then a few years ago, Sydney starting using Millennium Trains.
They are vastly superior to normal trains. An electronic display, the outside noise is reduced and pepper spray is not needed when trying to get a seat with padding. Although the petite are dealt a blow in life again since the seats are bulkier to flip.
It appears they've enhanced every other aspect of the regular trains. Even...
2000x more misery
The Misery Seat! It's The Millennium Misery Seat with 50% more misery. It's even darker and smaller. City Rail have ensured maximum sombreness by placing another seat the perfect distance away to completely decrease the commuter's mobility. They've also strategically organised the lighting so that the chair in front casts a morbid shadow of failure against the The Misery Seat. At least on the other train's MS you could maybe cross your legs if you had previously had Polio, but not even the Liliputian clone of Anthony Callea could manoeuvre his own misproportioned head in this updated version.
Misery seats are all over Sydney, look out for them!
Ever been misery seated? Add a comment…
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Comment by Cibbuano
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Orble Post of the Day
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Comment by amy
At least jammed in by train bits you know what you're dealing with...
Then again on a cold morning, I kinda like the body heat =P
Comment by amy
Millenium trains - there are only about 4 running because they STUFFED UP THE DESIGN.
And the voice is annoying.
And the seats have NO padding as far as IM concerned.
No glorifying the evils of modernity please.
Comment by Legally Brunette
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wow, i feel better now
Comment by Cibbuano
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Orble Post of the Day
Fat Cult
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Comment by Legally Brunette
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