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The Sydney Cityrail Misery Seat

August 22nd 2006 00:01
[SS classic]

The seating plan of a Sydney train may look like any other train in the world. Blue reversible seats arranged in rows... nothing exciting.
Sydney Train

However there is a very special difference, and I choose to call it: The Misery Seat.



The Misery Seat
Miserable from every angle.

It's that cramped, solitary seat next to the stairs. Perhaps it was designed with social-phobes in mind because in this chair you can pretty much only sit in one position, not hold anything and not move. All you can do is stare. Also, since The Misery Seat is next to the stairs, your lonely shame and misery are on full display to the commuters about to descend the stairs to alight from the train. As soon as you sit down, the padding lets out a sigh but it's soon muffled as you become one with the despondency. It's an ideal spot to inject, quietly weep or to messily eat your problems away. It's also very narrow, so it only suits a certain body type.
The Misery Seat
called so due to its overwhelming misery


Plus there's a sloping edge of the ceiling just above, meaning you also have to be short or have your head forced downward to sit here. And i'm not positive but I think electric shocks are generated every so often to help make your emotional pain even more physical. I'm sure they could have utilised the space more productively. Perhaps with a bubbler or even a small bidet, you’d think they would have rectified this problem for the future.

Then a few years ago, Sydney starting using Millennium Trains.
The Millennium Train


They are vastly superior to normal trains. An electronic display, the outside noise is reduced and pepper spray is not needed when trying to get a seat with padding. Although the petite are dealt a blow in life again since the seats are bulkier to flip.

It appears they've enhanced every other aspect of the regular trains. Even...

Millennium Misery Seat
2000x more misery

The Misery Seat! It's The Millennium Misery Seat with 50% more misery. It's even darker and smaller. City Rail have ensured maximum sombreness by placing another seat the perfect distance away to completely decrease the commuter's mobility. They've also strategically organised the lighting so that the chair in front casts a morbid shadow of failure against the The Misery Seat. At least on the other train's MS you could maybe cross your legs if you had previously had Polio, but not even the Liliputian clone of Anthony Callea could manoeuvre his own misproportioned head in this updated version.

Misery seats are all over Sydney, look out for them!

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Comments
8 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by Cibbuano

August 22nd 2006 01:35
hey, I love the new misery seats! It's like a cocoon where you can safely go to sleep...

Comment by peaches

August 22nd 2006 06:45
Ha that's great. I'll never see these seats again without thinking of this post. I guess you could be a really confident person and sit here so you can stare at all the other people, or eat horribly...make them shift in their seats..hehe.

Comment by amy

August 22nd 2006 08:36
Nothing miserable about staring at all the squished in suckers dealing with each other's blended BO and the static created by their respective synthetic jumpers rubbing uncomfortably on the person they don't know next to them.

At least jammed in by train bits you know what you're dealing with...

Then again on a cold morning, I kinda like the body heat =P

Comment by amy

August 22nd 2006 08:37
And by the way:

Millenium trains - there are only about 4 running because they STUFFED UP THE DESIGN.

And the voice is annoying.

And the seats have NO padding as far as IM concerned.

No glorifying the evils of modernity please.

Comment by Legally Brunette

August 22nd 2006 08:50
Great Post! I must admit, like Cibbo, i love the misery seat. It's my escape from the over-cologned people of the morning peak hour and the BO drenched people of the afternoon peak hour. Plus, I can't stand it when you're in the window seat and then it's your turn to get off and everyone in your row gets in a huff cuz they have to get up for you so you can get out. And while I'm at it, I also hate it when people try and make stupid chit chat with you in the mornings. I don't care dude. I just woke up. Last thing I wanna do is talk to you.

wow, i feel better now

Comment by Cibbuano

August 23rd 2006 02:59
Brunette, sorry, that BO is from me. Sorry! Should I wear more cologne?


Comment by Legally Brunette

August 23rd 2006 05:10
lol, no sweetie, just shower more regularly.

Comment by Anonymous

October 28th 2006 02:56
Every seat on a cityrail train is a misery seat due to inconsiderate noisy iPoders leaking the irritating sounds of "tish, tish, tish" from their earphones, and the incessant overuse of loud annoucements inside trains:

quietride.blogspot.com

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