The McOz - Australia's Homegrown Maccas
August 23rd 2006 00:01
“I’d like a McOz, please.” The small asian girl stared in disbelief. Had I suddenly become more beautiful? No.
“Sorry?”
“A McOz”
She turned around and saw that there were none left.
“It’ll be a three minute wait”
Australia has all the big American shop chains… Starbucks, Hungry Jacks, Krispy Kreme and of course McDonalds.
McDonalds (or Maccas to Australians) exists all around the world with 20 000 wrapped in our borders Tasmania.
Something unique to Australian McDonalds however is the McOz - our very own homegrown manufactured hamburger. I suppose its existence is all a marketing ploy aimed towards our massive tourist market.
So what’s it all about?
The outside wrapping is nothing special…
All clear on the exterior…
But then we open it up and BLEARGH
No, that’s not a photo from “Blunderful Operating Room Mishaps 5”, but fair enough, nothing looks good up that close.
Still gross, it sort of looks like some oily teen got stabbed while making an oilier cheeseburger
It’s (de)composed of:
One Beef Patty
Lettuce
Beetroot
Cheese
Tomato Sauce
Gherkin
Aesthetic perception aside, let’s judge it on how it tastes.
The first bite finds that the beetroot is colder than the rest of the burger and has a different texture. My cannibal island-native friend, Chaboom-Ba told me it’s like biting through a human eyeball. The second bite reveals that the tomato sauce just makes the bread damp. Chaboom-Ba informed me that it resembled the dampened flesh of a “non-believer”. As for the gherkin, you can’t even it pluck it off to throw at windows, it’s far too bogged down in the viscous foliage to be separated.
This stagnancy can be explained according to a source who works in McDonalds. She said: “Nobody buys the McOz, most of them sit in the bay for the whole day”
In all fairness, it’s not so bad. It’s probably an acquired taste. For a real “Australian” hamburger you’d need to go to any beach sandwich bar and order one with the lot.
The McOz It made me wonder if there are any other country specific burgers? Does New Zealand have a McMutton? Is there a McNorthKorea no one can ever order? Plus since the McOz is dry beetroot wrapped in stagnant bread, is the McTasmania two dry crackers wrapped incest?
Ever eaten a McOz? Or did it crawl out the door before you could catch it? Add a comment…
“Sorry?”
“A McOz”
She turned around and saw that there were none left.
“It’ll be a three minute wait”
Australia has all the big American shop chains… Starbucks, Hungry Jacks, Krispy Kreme and of course McDonalds.
McDonalds (or Maccas to Australians) exists all around the world with 20 000 wrapped in our borders Tasmania.
Something unique to Australian McDonalds however is the McOz - our very own homegrown manufactured hamburger. I suppose its existence is all a marketing ploy aimed towards our massive tourist market.
So what’s it all about?
The outside wrapping is nothing special…
All clear on the exterior…
But then we open it up and BLEARGH
No, that’s not a photo from “Blunderful Operating Room Mishaps 5”, but fair enough, nothing looks good up that close.
Still gross, it sort of looks like some oily teen got stabbed while making an oilier cheeseburger
It’s (de)composed of:
One Beef Patty
Lettuce
Beetroot
Cheese
Tomato Sauce
Gherkin
Aesthetic perception aside, let’s judge it on how it tastes.
The first bite finds that the beetroot is colder than the rest of the burger and has a different texture. My cannibal island-native friend, Chaboom-Ba told me it’s like biting through a human eyeball. The second bite reveals that the tomato sauce just makes the bread damp. Chaboom-Ba informed me that it resembled the dampened flesh of a “non-believer”. As for the gherkin, you can’t even it pluck it off to throw at windows, it’s far too bogged down in the viscous foliage to be separated.
This stagnancy can be explained according to a source who works in McDonalds. She said: “Nobody buys the McOz, most of them sit in the bay for the whole day”
In all fairness, it’s not so bad. It’s probably an acquired taste. For a real “Australian” hamburger you’d need to go to any beach sandwich bar and order one with the lot.
The McOz It made me wonder if there are any other country specific burgers? Does New Zealand have a McMutton? Is there a McNorthKorea no one can ever order? Plus since the McOz is dry beetroot wrapped in stagnant bread, is the McTasmania two dry crackers wrapped incest?
Ever eaten a McOz? Or did it crawl out the door before you could catch it? Add a comment…
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