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The Chinese Culture According to 2 Bogans

September 30th 2006 23:59
A simple post today. I was on the bus having a minute of silence for the death nu-metal when two coarse bogan voices started doing something (I don’t think it was talking). The following is all true, typed up from a shoddy phone recording.

Bogan 1: So many immigrants
Bogan 2: I’m gonna go to China and get me a young one
Bogan 1: Yeh they can make ya chinoise food
Bogan 2: Yeh they can teach may
Bogan 1: Serimagine if yerr had a chin-OISE woife
Bogan 2: Yerr it’d be rooly good
Bogan 1: But she prolly wouldn’t speak English yeah?

Bogan 2: Yeh but dy c’d prolly get a 19-20 year old
Bogan 1: Yeh I wouldn’t get with a white chick
Bogan 2: She’d prolly be a viiiiiiirgin
Bogan 1: How good would it be
Bogan 2: Imagine if on yer wedding nite she’d tell ya that she’s nevah had sex
Bogan 1: What would dya say?
Bogan 2: I’d say neither have I, in all my 40 years. We can experiment together!
Bogan 1: Yeeeeehhhhh!
<two hot girls walk by the bus>
Bogan 2: Cor look at the fillies
Bogan 1: Dressed up for a day at the races
Bogan 2: HAW hawww their boobs are fallin’ out
<taps on the glass loudly at them, the girls don’t notice>
Bogan 1: How long dreckon it’d take to get $2000 if ya earnin $600 a fortnight
Bogan 2: Aww I reckon it depends
Bogan 1: 600 minus some smokes, a few beers, some Maccas…
Bogan 2: I dunno prolly about 2-3 years
Bogan 1: Nah, not that long
Bogan 2: You wouldn’t wanna get lost there no
Bogan 1: Yeh you wouldn’t speak a word
Bogan 2: Yeh it’s all WA WA WA WA GA GA GA GA GA

Bogan 1: Yeh how do they understand each other
Bogan 2: I don’t think they do!!!
<HUGE laughing from both for 2 minutes>

At that point I zoned out. Bogans: adorable or grotesque? Add a comment…
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Comments
8 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by spicegal

October 1st 2006 05:12

I think they are a quaint species. Great dialogue. It's hard to believe some of it but it's sure funny. lol

Comment by Bumbliibee

October 1st 2006 09:45
HAHHAhhHAHaHahahahahhaah......funny bogans....

Comment by some usyd girl

October 1st 2006 11:30
They want a virgin?!?!

Yuck... bogan 2 is a 40 y.o. and wants a 19-20 y.o.

Comment by Marcia's Evil Twin

October 1st 2006 12:06
I'm Asian and one night I got on the bus near UNSW and I sat at the back. Behind me was a young Aussie guy and his American friend. In front of me were two teenage girls. The American guy suddenly started talking about Chinese food, really obviously and loudly. I kind of ignored him but I wasn't sure why he was doing it. He kept going on and on about it, talking about Chinese food. One of the girls turned around and gave him the Evil Eye of Death because she obviously thought he was trying to pay me out. I kept looking out the window acting oblivious. But he kept talking about Asian food. The American guy then got up and stood at the back door of the bus still shouting over to his friend who was still sitting behind me, talking about trying to cook noodles but burning them. He got off at UNSW. To this day I can't tell if he was trying to get my attention, to annoy me, or if he was just talking about Chinese food like that because he felt like it.

Comment by Anonymous

October 3rd 2006 12:56
^^^ Gold!

Bogans are disgusting. When I was reading the dialogue I just had this picture of Cleatus the slack jawed yokel going through my mind. Because of course they all wear overalls with checked flanelette shirts and chew on grass all day.... And have slack jaws.

ew bogans!

Comment by Anonymous

October 3rd 2006 13:50
bogans should be exterminated
waste of space!

Comment by Cibbuano

October 4th 2006 00:27
no writer can write dialogue that sincere... what a great snapshot of city life...

Comment by Anonymous

October 5th 2006 01:50
I am assuming this was in Sydney? Which is perfectly understandable, and makes the above dialogue perfectly acceptable in that degraded part of this country.

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