Sydney Asks: Where's Winter?
September 5th 2006 16:12
Winter has come and gone it seems. It lasted for about 18 seconds somewhere during early August. From short winter to shorts-wearing weather, it turns out Paris Hilton’s catch phrase of “That’s hot” could actually be a dire environmental warning instead of just coincidental mouth framings of a drug induced vocal spasms.
The temperature down in Katoomba recently has been about 6oC so if you want to live out the rest of your winter you’ll have to move there for a while.
The clouds have amoeba’d off over the horizon, back to the other hemisphere. It’s still a bit chilly every so often, but aside from some random hailstones once, there’s been no pissing downfall we expect. Why even on Sunday, there was literally 20 seconds of rain followed by rainbows.
Damn heaven-like country.
Now we’re probably in for an especially blazing summer, so why has this happened? Here are some scientifically ponderings...
- Increased fossil fuel emission in the industrial vicinities of Leeds in the UK, combined with a vigorous El Nino have proven to unbalance global weather patterns in the Southern hemisphere.
- As soon as Kyle Sandilands' face comes on camera, the entire nation involuntarily gasps in unison, the proceeding exhale is enough to heat the atmosphere by 21oC.
- Martina Hingis’ shock exit in the second round of the US Open has enraged so many people that the heat from their temples has diffused into the atmosphere.
- Confounded with how a movie called “Snakes On A Plane” was ever released, people are going out to forests and physically punching the plants out of disorientation and confusion.
- Everyone has clued onto the fact that after 6 is “3 for the price of 2” clearance time for train station sushi, so people are delaying their trips home until only the gross “cabbage and ginger’ ones are left. The consequential gaseous emissions have COMPLETELY eliminated the O-zone layer for this planet and the rest (except poor discarded Pluto)
- With annoying street traffic for Daffodil Day, The Big Issue, The Cancer Council, World Vision and MX Newspaper punctuating the streets of Sydney lately, the accumulation of their shout-outs has been an unsustainable level of carbon dioxide.
“GET YOUR BIG ISSUE! FREE MX! ARE YOU 21?!”
Either way, who cares, bring on the heat so we can further indulge in the Australian stereotype.
Winter too short? Or good riddance? Add a comment...
The temperature down in Katoomba recently has been about 6oC so if you want to live out the rest of your winter you’ll have to move there for a while.
The clouds have amoeba’d off over the horizon, back to the other hemisphere. It’s still a bit chilly every so often, but aside from some random hailstones once, there’s been no pissing downfall we expect. Why even on Sunday, there was literally 20 seconds of rain followed by rainbows.
Damn heaven-like country.
Now we’re probably in for an especially blazing summer, so why has this happened? Here are some scientifically ponderings...
- Increased fossil fuel emission in the industrial vicinities of Leeds in the UK, combined with a vigorous El Nino have proven to unbalance global weather patterns in the Southern hemisphere.
- As soon as Kyle Sandilands' face comes on camera, the entire nation involuntarily gasps in unison, the proceeding exhale is enough to heat the atmosphere by 21oC.
- Martina Hingis’ shock exit in the second round of the US Open has enraged so many people that the heat from their temples has diffused into the atmosphere.
- Confounded with how a movie called “Snakes On A Plane” was ever released, people are going out to forests and physically punching the plants out of disorientation and confusion.
- Everyone has clued onto the fact that after 6 is “3 for the price of 2” clearance time for train station sushi, so people are delaying their trips home until only the gross “cabbage and ginger’ ones are left. The consequential gaseous emissions have COMPLETELY eliminated the O-zone layer for this planet and the rest (except poor discarded Pluto)
- With annoying street traffic for Daffodil Day, The Big Issue, The Cancer Council, World Vision and MX Newspaper punctuating the streets of Sydney lately, the accumulation of their shout-outs has been an unsustainable level of carbon dioxide.
“GET YOUR BIG ISSUE! FREE MX! ARE YOU 21?!”
Either way, who cares, bring on the heat so we can further indulge in the Australian stereotype.
Winter too short? Or good riddance? Add a comment...
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Bring on Spring-summer weather!
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