Australian Idol Wildcard – Mutto Dressed As Bland
September 3rd 2006 11:21
Frightening proves to strike twice as we see again the reasons why these failures didn’t make it the first time.
Brendon Boney
Rob Thomas - Lonely No More/Maroon 5 - This Love
Brendon got on his jolly golliwog with his crazy hair and all. He was slipping all over the stage, or maybe they were dance moves. He ended with some Maroon 5 but he had a lighter arrangement... so it was more like Beige 5. It was by far the best of the night… so far.
Nathaniel Williamse
4 Tops - My Girl
Only black men should wear white suits, he stains it with his mocha complexion. I expected him to sing Tomorrow from Annie judging by his adorable little curls. He’s capable with a lovely voice but he’s lacking an edge.
I’ll quote the judges.
Mark: Wiggity wiggity schwaaa wooop woop wahaaaa
Marcia: Good job gurlfren, your heart cried tears of passion on mah soul
Kyle: (opens his mouth and piles of liquid fecal matter folds out)
Klancie Keogh
???? - Redneck Woman
From Motown music to White people’s music, Klancie’z name maks me want 2 spel evrthng badley. If you are what you eat, then you’re also what you sing. Cowboy boots and that country tremor in her voice had already lost me, cutting to the giant chin of Bobby Flynn just made me go blind as well as deaf and bored.
Chris Graffiti
Stevie Wonder – I Wish
What a trooper, he can have Tourettes/a stroke/Bell’s Palsy and still perform aptly. He sings pretty well but he dances like one of the little children in the Hi-5 audience.
Marcia calls it the “individual talent”, I call it an HCF commercial… I kept expecting a small asian girl and some other ethnically diverse people to walk on stage while “SAVE ON DENTAL” pops up on the screen.
Mutto
Eskimo Joe – Black Fingernails, Red Wine
As the title says, it was Mutto dressed as bland.
He said he wanted to be more vulnerable but “vulnerable” seems to be Muttese for “furrowed brow with anguished look of concentration”. It was nice to have something a bit different from consecutive Stevie Wonder-esque singalong songs, but he just didn’t BRING it. Mother Africa imparts “that was one of the most intense, fantastic rock performances I’ve seen on this show”. Ay? I guess the comparisons are Kelly Cavuto and Laura Gissara singing Silverchair… so maybe she’s not so off.
Amanda Streete
Powderfinger – On My Mind
I like her slightly deeper voice, she’s a bit karaoke though – meaning she’s a place where people go to have hourly singing sessions over instrumental tracks.
I think she brought it more than Mutton though the judges go on about connecting and cameras and stuff. Kyle said it reeks of try-hard but maybe she’s not from where that smell emanates.
Ricky Muscat
Usher - Caught Up
He has the “massive tool microphone hold”, but he sings well. His eye movements are exaggerated but as Freud would put it, Kyle’s penis envy spurs him to part with his praise.
He’ll make it though in spite of the judges comments.
Marcia: Usher is my best friend and his gossamer wings swoon on the talent which belies the vulture’s supple grasp.
Mark: You started at 10 and a half and you wookity wackity.. [inaudible]… light and shade [inaudible]
Kyle: YOUR NAKED BODY ON ME NOW
Chris Murphy
Hunters and Collecters – Holy Grail
Jesus’ ugly, un-enchanted cousin steps up the plate… the plate where the cannon is aimed to fire into his gigantic belly. No, he’s not fat. He sings well naturally and he’s a bit different and not in the giant chin of Bobby Flynn localised elaphantisis way.
He brought it, but he probably had more to bring but he ate it before… we’re talking about potato salad, right?
So who brought it according to you? Why doesn't Kyle EVER blink or smile? Add a comment...
Brendon Boney
Rob Thomas - Lonely No More/Maroon 5 - This Love
Brendon got on his jolly golliwog with his crazy hair and all. He was slipping all over the stage, or maybe they were dance moves. He ended with some Maroon 5 but he had a lighter arrangement... so it was more like Beige 5. It was by far the best of the night… so far.
Nathaniel Williamse
4 Tops - My Girl
Only black men should wear white suits, he stains it with his mocha complexion. I expected him to sing Tomorrow from Annie judging by his adorable little curls. He’s capable with a lovely voice but he’s lacking an edge.
I’ll quote the judges.
Mark: Wiggity wiggity schwaaa wooop woop wahaaaa
Marcia: Good job gurlfren, your heart cried tears of passion on mah soul
Kyle: (opens his mouth and piles of liquid fecal matter folds out)
Klancie Keogh
???? - Redneck Woman
From Motown music to White people’s music, Klancie’z name maks me want 2 spel evrthng badley. If you are what you eat, then you’re also what you sing. Cowboy boots and that country tremor in her voice had already lost me, cutting to the giant chin of Bobby Flynn just made me go blind as well as deaf and bored.
Chris Graffiti
Stevie Wonder – I Wish
What a trooper, he can have Tourettes/a stroke/Bell’s Palsy and still perform aptly. He sings pretty well but he dances like one of the little children in the Hi-5 audience.
Marcia calls it the “individual talent”, I call it an HCF commercial… I kept expecting a small asian girl and some other ethnically diverse people to walk on stage while “SAVE ON DENTAL” pops up on the screen.
Mutto
Eskimo Joe – Black Fingernails, Red Wine
As the title says, it was Mutto dressed as bland.
He said he wanted to be more vulnerable but “vulnerable” seems to be Muttese for “furrowed brow with anguished look of concentration”. It was nice to have something a bit different from consecutive Stevie Wonder-esque singalong songs, but he just didn’t BRING it. Mother Africa imparts “that was one of the most intense, fantastic rock performances I’ve seen on this show”. Ay? I guess the comparisons are Kelly Cavuto and Laura Gissara singing Silverchair… so maybe she’s not so off.
Amanda Streete
Powderfinger – On My Mind
I like her slightly deeper voice, she’s a bit karaoke though – meaning she’s a place where people go to have hourly singing sessions over instrumental tracks.
I think she brought it more than Mutton though the judges go on about connecting and cameras and stuff. Kyle said it reeks of try-hard but maybe she’s not from where that smell emanates.
Ricky Muscat
Usher - Caught Up
He has the “massive tool microphone hold”, but he sings well. His eye movements are exaggerated but as Freud would put it, Kyle’s penis envy spurs him to part with his praise.
He’ll make it though in spite of the judges comments.
Marcia: Usher is my best friend and his gossamer wings swoon on the talent which belies the vulture’s supple grasp.
Mark: You started at 10 and a half and you wookity wackity.. [inaudible]… light and shade [inaudible]
Kyle: YOUR NAKED BODY ON ME NOW
Chris Murphy
Hunters and Collecters – Holy Grail
Jesus’ ugly, un-enchanted cousin steps up the plate… the plate where the cannon is aimed to fire into his gigantic belly. No, he’s not fat. He sings well naturally and he’s a bit different and not in the giant chin of Bobby Flynn localised elaphantisis way.
He brought it, but he probably had more to bring but he ate it before… we’re talking about potato salad, right?
So who brought it according to you? Why doesn't Kyle EVER blink or smile? Add a comment...
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Comment by Jazz
But my favourite to get through (I hope) is Chris Graffiti, I just love his voice and his performance of I Don't Want To Be in his first show last week.
Methinks Kyle has a no-blinking competition going on with James Mathieson. Or maybe he just has something uncomfortable up his ass
Comment by BenP
SURELY NOT!!!!!
Comment by frodo
Comment by Anonymous
Comment by Mandy
Comment by Anonymous
in my opinion australian idol is rigged, its all about popularity. chris murphy will make it in because hes the relative of courtney and likewise lavina because shes related to emily.
Comment by Glen Atwell
Computer Game
Note: I am implying that he seems to be homosexual in his nature (nothing wrong with that - just an observation).
Murphy won't win - Australia is still reeling after championing Casey Donovan as the "I'm not your stereotype girl" - and look what happened there.
I love Nathaniel's version of Vertigo - U2, I thought it would have seen him through. Maybe his removed father works for Telstra or something?
Comment by some usyd girl
I must say, I think this year's top 12 are much better than last year's, except the fact that Emily Williams' sister Lavina is in the top 12 kind of ruins it. They should get rid of her early as well.
Keep Dean, Lisa, Reagan and Chris for the final four and I should be happy.