Australian Idol: Top 7 - GO TO BED MAHK! GO TO BED MAHK!
October 15th 2006 12:20
After last week's SHOCKING departure of my favourite Williams sister, I was severely disappointed. That's right, when I heard that Serena Williams had withdrawn from her wildcard at the Zurich Open, I was shattered.
But regarding the other Williams sisters... Lavina and Emily... yeah that was pretty bad that Lavina was voted out but the truth is she was scary lookin' and a New Zealander, so maybe it's best she went back to moving furniture.
TOP SEVEN - OPTIONAL GUITAR THEME NIGHT
- Bobby Flynn
Fleetwood Mac - Rhiannon
To me, Bobby Flynn is an extraordinary machine in that whatever goes into to it comes out all the same. Even while holding a guitar he still manages to do the patented Flynny Shimee with his spazzing hand.
Mark says that "Bobby Flynn is an IDEA; a CONCEPT!" which turns out to be true. I checked my university course guide and under Philosophy it says "BFLY3012 Flynnbobogy: Theory of when Electricity And Wet Hair Meet"
The highlight was this CLASSIC. Empty Marcia quote of the week #1: "I love what I do... I mean I love what I do. That was the bomb"
- Dean Geyer
Ryan Cabrera - All The Way Down
Dean knows how to work his tween audience. Should he wear an I LOVE SETH shirt from Supre, he'll surely win based on the scientific formula of tween vote plus gay vote = success!!!
With his seth efrican accent he says:
"Em genne teck et ewey frem the peoppy-peoppy end breng et mer te the reck". Most noticeably the part which made the girls scream the most in his performance was when he put down his guitar. Nicely done. Somehow he earns a touchdown. Hey?
Then comes a Marcia quote which was one of the most convoluted things i've heard since my last Flynnbobogy lecture. Marcia empty empty quote of the week #2: "To be that clever, that intelligent... a stick (pause) to walk out is a performance"
- Chris Murphy
Paul McCartney - No More Lonely Nights
The majesty of the background cello was ruined by the face of Chris Murphy as his raison eyes are dislodged further each time his raised eyebrows shake loose his pudginess. It's true he has an air of Jack Black when does his quirky loser stuff, but it's more like Jack Black combined with chunky Gwyneth from Shallow Hal.
Kyle calls it "a piece of crap", it wasn't crap but it was just THERE.
Marcia empty quote of the week #3: "From an older person's perspective... thank you!". I'm guessing in one of the wide camera pans he ran down and oiled Holden's joints after he strained them for that previous touchdown.
- Jessica Mauboy
Brandy - Have You Ever
Another Brandy song/cover, Jessica? Maybe next week you can do The Boy Is Mine and sing BOTH parts. "Not yours, but mine, not yours, but miiiiiine...." as she jumps opposite herself each time.
Otherwise she was GOOOOD tonight! Maybe she dismembered the body of Lavina and moulded her mighty New Zealand lungs to her Indonesian ones for ULTIMATE POWER.
...In other words, she sang really well. Plus she looked like she really enjoyed herself and that's always important.
- Damien Leigh
Chris Isaak - Wicked Game
My favourite part of this performance was that he started acapello, and he DIDNT use those siamese triplet back-up singers who try to move too enthusiastically and sing too zealously so they get camera time.
It was competent and somehow he got a touchdown from our prestigious judges of a man who can't pronounce "Chachi" and... Mark Holden. Thankfully we have some Hines genius to bring the cred. Marcia empty quote of the week #4: "There's a great saying 'Don't get angry.. just get even' "... I don't think that applies here Maz.
- Lisa Mitchell
Coldplay - See You Soon
This song was dreamlike. My mind just wandered off and I started thinking how awesome it would be if Deni Hines replaced Marcia Hines as a judge. It would probably go like this...
Mark: That wa-
Deni: -THAT REMINded me of when I was recording my hit single Frenzy on my greatest hits The Delcious Collection out now and my delivery for the *stands up and starts singing with hand gestures* "SCUSE ME FOR GETTIN ALL THE FELLAZ IN A FRENZY"
The judges agreed with me that it was dreamlike, and they love it probably because they started thinking exactly the same thing.
Marcia empty quote of the week #5: "You hypnotised us with your guitar"
- Ricky Muscat
Robbie Williams - Feel
Feel? Rudebox would have been a more Muscatesque choice. It was pretty (mus)scattered and overall it was mu(scat). He SHOULD go but since he got bagged out so much from the judges, the little ones will be in overdrive.
Marcia empty quote of the week #6: "Sometimes you need to go to sleep. Go to bed! Go to bed! Go to bed! Go to bed MAHK! Take your medication and go to bed MAAHK! Go to bed MAHK! Go to bed MAHK! Go to bed MAHK! Go to bed MAHK! Go to bed MAHK! " x 2000
Ahhh Marcia. So what did you think of optional guitar theme night? Add a comment...
But regarding the other Williams sisters... Lavina and Emily... yeah that was pretty bad that Lavina was voted out but the truth is she was scary lookin' and a New Zealander, so maybe it's best she went back to moving furniture.
TOP SEVEN - OPTIONAL GUITAR THEME NIGHT
- Bobby Flynn
Fleetwood Mac - Rhiannon
To me, Bobby Flynn is an extraordinary machine in that whatever goes into to it comes out all the same. Even while holding a guitar he still manages to do the patented Flynny Shimee with his spazzing hand.
Mark says that "Bobby Flynn is an IDEA; a CONCEPT!" which turns out to be true. I checked my university course guide and under Philosophy it says "BFLY3012 Flynnbobogy: Theory of when Electricity And Wet Hair Meet"
The highlight was this CLASSIC. Empty Marcia quote of the week #1: "I love what I do... I mean I love what I do. That was the bomb"
- Dean Geyer
Ryan Cabrera - All The Way Down
Dean knows how to work his tween audience. Should he wear an I LOVE SETH shirt from Supre, he'll surely win based on the scientific formula of tween vote plus gay vote = success!!!
With his seth efrican accent he says:
"Em genne teck et ewey frem the peoppy-peoppy end breng et mer te the reck". Most noticeably the part which made the girls scream the most in his performance was when he put down his guitar. Nicely done. Somehow he earns a touchdown. Hey?
Then comes a Marcia quote which was one of the most convoluted things i've heard since my last Flynnbobogy lecture. Marcia empty empty quote of the week #2: "To be that clever, that intelligent... a stick (pause) to walk out is a performance"
- Chris Murphy
Paul McCartney - No More Lonely Nights
The majesty of the background cello was ruined by the face of Chris Murphy as his raison eyes are dislodged further each time his raised eyebrows shake loose his pudginess. It's true he has an air of Jack Black when does his quirky loser stuff, but it's more like Jack Black combined with chunky Gwyneth from Shallow Hal.
Kyle calls it "a piece of crap", it wasn't crap but it was just THERE.
Marcia empty quote of the week #3: "From an older person's perspective... thank you!". I'm guessing in one of the wide camera pans he ran down and oiled Holden's joints after he strained them for that previous touchdown.
- Jessica Mauboy
Brandy - Have You Ever
Another Brandy song/cover, Jessica? Maybe next week you can do The Boy Is Mine and sing BOTH parts. "Not yours, but mine, not yours, but miiiiiine...." as she jumps opposite herself each time.
Otherwise she was GOOOOD tonight! Maybe she dismembered the body of Lavina and moulded her mighty New Zealand lungs to her Indonesian ones for ULTIMATE POWER.
...In other words, she sang really well. Plus she looked like she really enjoyed herself and that's always important.
- Damien Leigh
Chris Isaak - Wicked Game
My favourite part of this performance was that he started acapello, and he DIDNT use those siamese triplet back-up singers who try to move too enthusiastically and sing too zealously so they get camera time.
It was competent and somehow he got a touchdown from our prestigious judges of a man who can't pronounce "Chachi" and... Mark Holden. Thankfully we have some Hines genius to bring the cred. Marcia empty quote of the week #4: "There's a great saying 'Don't get angry.. just get even' "... I don't think that applies here Maz.
- Lisa Mitchell
Coldplay - See You Soon
This song was dreamlike. My mind just wandered off and I started thinking how awesome it would be if Deni Hines replaced Marcia Hines as a judge. It would probably go like this...
Mark: That wa-
Deni: -THAT REMINded me of when I was recording my hit single Frenzy on my greatest hits The Delcious Collection out now and my delivery for the *stands up and starts singing with hand gestures* "SCUSE ME FOR GETTIN ALL THE FELLAZ IN A FRENZY"
The judges agreed with me that it was dreamlike, and they love it probably because they started thinking exactly the same thing.
Marcia empty quote of the week #5: "You hypnotised us with your guitar"
- Ricky Muscat
Robbie Williams - Feel
Feel? Rudebox would have been a more Muscatesque choice. It was pretty (mus)scattered and overall it was mu(scat). He SHOULD go but since he got bagged out so much from the judges, the little ones will be in overdrive.
Marcia empty quote of the week #6: "Sometimes you need to go to sleep. Go to bed! Go to bed! Go to bed! Go to bed MAHK! Take your medication and go to bed MAAHK! Go to bed MAHK! Go to bed MAHK! Go to bed MAHK! Go to bed MAHK! Go to bed MAHK! " x 2000
Ahhh Marcia. So what did you think of optional guitar theme night? Add a comment...
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Comment by JamesC
I mean, you can pretty much picture the first video now. There's Jessica. She's in a yr 10 formal dress of sorts. White perhaps. Looking into a mirror with those light bulbs fastened along the border (has anyone ever seen one of those in real life?). She sings the first line of the first single which is something like "until today, love was just an empty memory". The next scene she's slowly ascending a darkened staircase, which is symbolic over her triumph over adversity (i.e. Kyle's fatty fat fat comments) accompanied with a line like "your eyes they smile, when I see you breath my happiness". The final chorus she's in a different outfit and faces the camera directly when she sings, symbolising her newfound confidence in her womanhood and now she truly knows the meaning of the song she's singing.
The song's title will be "Dreaming of Tomorrow With You", from her debut album "Driving on a Heart Shaped Road"
Her second single will be written by the Veronicas and will be infinitely better but inexplicably ignored by the public, who will maintain that "Dreaming of Tomorrow With You" will be her only hit.
Then again, if Lisa or Bobby win, you can't expect the stuff they're compelled to release will be any more interesting or esoteric. But I really hope so. If Lisa wins, I want weird arty videos. Bjork or Fiona Apple videos. I want a video where Lisa dances with a mailbox. Agree?
Comment by deconstruction
Comment by Jasey Donovan
Anyway, I'm now pissed off that I stopped watching last night's idol once I saw Holden give Teddy Geyer's brother a TOUCHDOWN and Dean almost had a tear in his eye. How come all the contestants don't seem to give a hoot what Holden says, as he uses all that "goo goo ga ga" talk, UNTIL he mutters the words TOUCHDOWN!??? Is it really that credible to get a football remark from Mark (hahaha - remark and mark - oh i slay me!)
Perhaps if Mark was to say something like "Oh Dean, you sexy little twinky! I'd screw you in the privacy of the green room, but don't tell anyone cos I have a wife and have been pretending to be straight for the past 40 years! Anyways, my sexy lexy Deany-poo, I'd buy 35,000 copies of that song if it was released on CD, because then it would get certified as GOLD status on the ARIA charts!!!"
Now, something like THAT would make ME almost shed a tear, so much more than a simple, stupid "TOUCHDOWN!" comment.
That's my rant on the Tween Idol. I want that whingey Kasy-Chambers-esque chick to win. The one who sounds like a cat being dragged across a violin. At least she's different. As JamesC said, at least she might produce a Fiona Apple filmclip where she slits her wrists in a bath full of jelly, or a Bjork clip where she screams THIS IS IT and dances with signposts and such.
Comment by Anonymous
Hey commenter, jess is cool at least she's got the chops better than anyone else
Comment by Hot sex lady(in red) of non-descript ethnocentric appearance
You definately watch too much idol indeed.
Can I just say: my job has been quit so just tell me where to be and I'll be there!
Cafe` anytime I'm up for.
Shout me.
Hot and in red,
but missing you
S
Comment by Dave
Comment by frodo
This would no doubt wn her a special award at the malARIAs.
Comment by casey d
why are you so unkind
no wonder i cant stop smokin'
Comment by ZooZoo
Comment by By the hair of my flynny chin chin
Comment by Anonymous