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Aussie City Life - December 2006

Sydney Harbour NY Decoration Timeline!

December 26th 2006 16:39
This whole post looks better at its home here at Sydney Spy.

NYE Bridge Decoration Timeline First of all... Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! Ever since 1998, all eyes have been on Sydney Harbour Bridge to supply us with bright shiny lights in the absence of hyper-vigilance midst a crystal meth high. So let's have a look back at what we've seen. Everyone already knows that this year we're having a giant coathanger to celebrate... the things which clothes hang on.

1998 The average Australian's reaction after ending the year that had Celine Dion, Aqua and Ricky Martin as #1 for about 3 months. It was the first year, so we can forgive them for being a bit simple with a disembodied face indulging in its maschistic urges by showing elation with its head on fire. Better suggestion: Pauline Hanson raising a wok 1999 "Etirunltv" scrawled and underlined on the bridge. 1999 is the official year of dyslexia, so there was nothing more appropriate than random letters spattered out in fluorescent tubing. There's some backstory about a homeless person and grafitti but I don't remember it. Something about him selling his soul to the devil for eternal life and he cursed him by burning this on his soul... something like that... plus vampires. Better suggestion: The Hamster Dance!!! 2000 A Snake and a Star Australia has lots of snakes.. and stars are pretty. ZERO other significance. Better suggestion: Neopets wearing Kylie's gold hotpants. 2001 What The Bridge would look like if someone collapsed it to 1/20th of its size One of Australia's favourite rocks finally got its fifteen seconds... or ~ fifteen days. It's nice but a bit boring. Better suggestion: That guy who won the second Big Brother... the nice inoffensive one... no not him.. yeah the other one. 2002 "Peas" spelt wrong After all the disputes about whether or not Australia should saw itself in half and form two seperate islands, this seemed appropriate. We all know the result of the referendum and I hope my fellow members of East Caseydonoland can agree with me that this bird is a perfect mascot for our new country. 2003 "City of Lights" The bridge was destroyed in the great fire of '03 after someone set those pillars alight on the short lived Raining Petrol Day. Instead, they just illuminated some buildings around Sydney for a while. It was pretty.

Better suggestion: A moving animation of Casey Donovan devouring Anthony Callea 2004 Torture Sphere In celebration of success of the movie Saw, Australia couldn't help but catch the fever. This ball of giant sharpened metallic spinning fans hovered above the bridge (though many thought it was a mirror ball). It served as a way of disposing of useless reality show has-beens and solving the refugee problem. Since it was deemed "inhumane" by some PC board in 2005, we have since seen shows like Celebrities On Ice and Dancing With The Stars as a way of dealing with the issue of excess D-List celebrities... it has proved to be even more painful that the torture sphere. 2005 Giant Organs Since Sydney is a 'living city', we showed a giant neon heart flashing in January. Afterwards came a massive vibrating appendix in February, an endless tube of intenstines which coiled around the harbour in March and so on in that order.

Better suggestion: Something celebrating my first year of university or something... gawwd! They're so selfish!

Either way, this year will PROBABLY be a green diamond and not a coat-hanger. Overall it's a nice addition that we have this in our city and we'll all feel REALLY old that we remember the first time they did it. The fact that they keep the sign up there for a few weeks in January lets you savour the feeling of a New Year for a bit longer. I just hope it's never supposed be a surprise. What would YOU put on the bridge? Add a comment...



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Trashy Australian Music

December 22nd 2006 15:31
This post looks a lot better at it's home www.sydneyspy.blogspot.com

Cheap Australian Music

As a nation, we have a lot to be proud of. We were founded by convicts and our mountains aren't gawdy and obese like those Swiss ones. One thing we simply can't be proud of though, is our music industry. We could possible have the worst CD covers and music videos in the world. We don't even have the grace to make the covers a single colour with the artist's name in tiny writing like dance artists do to look minimalist and edgy. Instead we're subjected to THIS: Shannon Noll & Natalie Bassingthouuuwayyaigghhyyhhyt - Don't Give Up Yes, I agree, don't give up your day job unless this day job is being autistic. I'm not sure what's happening to Shannon Noll's appearance but it seems his beer is catching up to him followed by a barrage of rodents proving true Darwin's theory of convergent evolution (SEE: SHANNON'S FACE). The video's even more embarrassing but my Lithium dealer's on Chrissy hols til Jan 2nd so I'd best not venture down that thorny path.

It looks like a bunch of ice-addicts are screaming at them to "ACT NATURAL" until they have fossilised until cardboard cutouts.

Marcia Hines - Discothèque

While it's a given that Marcia Hines is the Sun, I find her choice offensive of putting her own disembodied head floating through space on her album cover. Looks more like the cover of some cult pamphlet for a free I.Q. test to achieve enlightenment.

We can see Madame Hines crossing cultural fronteers by putting the accent è over discothèque. Pure class. If you'd like to ènjoy putting accènts on è's, just hold down ALT while pressing 0232 on the numpad and unleash your badself.

Melissa Tkautz - Easily Affected

This one is a music video. It's not actually such a bad video except it's hard to take it seriously since it was filmed in the glamourous location of Martin Place Station. I'm glad i wasn't the only person who noticed those funky massive escalators and thought MUSIC VIDEO.

I like when she forlornly approaches the barren ticket booths. It would have been a sexier vid had she stuck her tongue in the coin slot of the ticket machine. Or maybe she should have tasted the "condom water" of the random bubbler on the platform. Ah well, in a perfect world. Bec Cartwright Hewitt - Matter of Time This video doesn't seem to be on YouTube. Either way, it was pretty sad since it all took place at the escalators at Sydney Airport. That's all, no story... no second camera. Good times. Tina Arena - Italian Love Song I don't know how Australia's favourite ex-pat could go from out #1 recording artist to working at Payless Shoes Paramatta (educated guess). I guess that's why she wandered off to France. I can't upload the photo of the whole single cover and I'm too impatient to fiddle with it. So here's the close up of her head on the cover at least. Is it sexy? Does she want to vomit? In any case, these are just a few examples. At least we're fortunate to have some sort of a national music industry at all. We live in a country that gives unlimited chances to people like Deni Hines and Tamara Jaber and for that... I black out a little... but after that I feel proud. Do you like our music industry? What other shocking examples are there? Add a comment...
63
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Trashy Australian Music

December 22nd 2006 15:29
This post looks a lot better at it's home www.sydneyspy.blogspot.com

Cheap Australian Music

As a nation, we have a lot to be proud of. We were founded by convicts and our mountains aren't gawdy and obese like those Swiss ones. One thing we simply can't be proud of though, is our music industry. We could possible have the worst CD covers and music videos in the world. We don't even have the grace to make the covers a single colour with the artist's name in tiny writing like dance artists do to look minimalist and edgy. Instead we're subjected to THIS: Shannon Noll & Natalie Bassingthouuuwayyaigghhyyhhyt - Don't Give Up Yes, I agree, don't give up your day job unless this day job is being autistic. I'm not sure what's happening to Shannon Noll's appearance but it seems his beer is catching up to him followed by a barrage of rodents proving true Darwin's theory of convergent evolution (SEE: SHANNON'S FACE). The video's even more embarrassing but my Lithium dealer's on Chrissy hols til Jan 2nd so I'd best not venture down that thorny path.

It looks like a bunch of ice-addicts are screaming at them to "ACT NATURAL" until they have fossilised until cardboard cutouts.

Marcia Hines - Discothèque

While it's a given that Marcia Hines is the Sun, I find her choice offensive of putting her own disembodied head floating through space on her album cover. Looks more like the cover of some cult pamphlet for a free I.Q. test to achieve enlightenment.

We can see Madame Hines crossing cultural fronteers by putting the accent è over discothèque. Pure class. If you'd like to ènjoy putting accènts on è's, just hold down ALT while pressing 0232 on the numpad and unleash your badself.

Melissa Tkautz - Easily Affected

This one is a music video. It's not actually such a bad video except it's hard to take it seriously since it was filmed in the glamourous location of Martin Place Station. I'm glad i wasn't the only person who noticed those funky massive escalators and thought MUSIC VIDEO.

I like when she forlornly approaches the barren ticket booths. It would have been a sexier vid had she stuck her tongue in the coin slot of the ticket machine. Or maybe she should have tasted the "condom water" of the random bubbler on the platform. Ah well, in a perfect world. Bec Cartwright Hewitt - Matter of Time This video doesn't seem to be on YouTube. Either way, it was pretty sad since it all took place at the escalators at Sydney Airport. That's all, no story... no second camera. Good times. Tina Arena - Italian Love Song I don't know how Australia's favourite ex-pat could go from out #1 recording artist to working at Payless Shoes Paramatta (educated guess). I guess that's why she wandered off to France. I can't upload the photo of the whole single cover and I'm too impatient to fiddle with it. So here's the close up of her head on the cover at least. Is it sexy? Does she want to vomit? In any case, these are just a few examples. At least we're fortunate to have some sort of a national music industry at all. We live in a country that gives unlimited chances to people like Deni Hines and Tamara Jaber and for that... I black out a little... but after that I feel proud. Do you like our music industry? What other shocking examples are there? Add a comment...
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Sydney In Pictures

December 10th 2006 03:00
All this might look better on www.sydneyspy.blogspot.com


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Child Abuse Isn't A Talent!
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Jacarandas Bloom

December 4th 2006 00:01
Great news everyone. Sydney Spy is BACK, it's my first blog www.sydneyspy.blogspot.com. So you can go there or stay here, it's all up to you i'll be updating both. The Orble Community is a lovely family and it promotes the stuff I write automatically while Sydney Spy wades through tradition juice and has the most awesome commenters in the world.


[ Click here to read more ]
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