Why Do Australia's Cities Hate Each Other?
August 31st 2006 23:30
Australian cities are lovely things but like all lovely things they seem to be in constant competition with each other.
The brash, beautiful Sydney is in a constant rivalry with the self-declared "cultural capital" Melbourne. To clarify, Sydney is the OUTDOOR city with the stunning sights and weather while Melbourne is the INDOOR city with the shops and... trams. They reckon we're arrogant and classless while we think they're snotty and boring.
The other cities aren't rivals, Sydney and Melbourne's opinion of Queensland is about the same - that they're massive bogans who are fitted for thongs right after the cord drops.
Queensland is too easy going to care about the other cities.
Darwin, Perth and Adelaide don't have much of a discernable character. I'd say Adelaide is like a weaker Melbourne while Perth is a step to the diagonal left of Sydney.
Darwin is... Niwrad backwards.
And EVERY CITY reckons Canberra is where beige goes to die since it's so dull. Then EVERY CITY thinks Hobart is the land the four-fingered people snicker at.
This very organised and scientific map helps explained the connections of dispute.
Further explained by what I imagine a chat-room would look like if the capital cities were internautes.
QUEENSLAND ENTERS ROOM: CAP CITIES
Brisbane: Hey guys! Let's go to the BEACH!!
Sydney: Cool, sounds like awesome fun! Let's go!
Canberra: I don't know, without an itinerary? Let's stand perfectly still for three hours instead
Melbourne: I'll utilise my cellular mobile to verify the weather forecast first
Hobart: Beeches have sande
Sydney: Cmon you guys, the weather is STUNNING there's an electricity in the air it's like POW!!!
Melbourne: I'm inclined to be in agreeance with what connotes your expression of enthusiasm.
Brisbane: Let's grab a beer while we're at it!
Canberra: Beer? OMG are you serious? I prefer flat soda water
Hobart: Pplz drink beer cuz they gets drunk lmaoz
USER CANBERRA TIMES OUT
Then aside from our capital city rival, we have the suburbs of Sydney feuding (Eastern Suburbs vs. Western vs Nothern) as well as the universities (USyd vs. UNSW).
I'm not sure why we feud amongst ourselves so much, I'm sure it's just jealousy... of everyone else towards Sydney. At least we can all agree (Canberra included) that Canberra's as flat as it is flat physically.
What do you think feuls the fire of our family feud? Add a comment...
The brash, beautiful Sydney is in a constant rivalry with the self-declared "cultural capital" Melbourne. To clarify, Sydney is the OUTDOOR city with the stunning sights and weather while Melbourne is the INDOOR city with the shops and... trams. They reckon we're arrogant and classless while we think they're snotty and boring.
The other cities aren't rivals, Sydney and Melbourne's opinion of Queensland is about the same - that they're massive bogans who are fitted for thongs right after the cord drops.
Queensland is too easy going to care about the other cities.
Darwin, Perth and Adelaide don't have much of a discernable character. I'd say Adelaide is like a weaker Melbourne while Perth is a step to the diagonal left of Sydney.
Darwin is... Niwrad backwards.
And EVERY CITY reckons Canberra is where beige goes to die since it's so dull. Then EVERY CITY thinks Hobart is the land the four-fingered people snicker at.
This very organised and scientific map helps explained the connections of dispute.
Further explained by what I imagine a chat-room would look like if the capital cities were internautes.
QUEENSLAND ENTERS ROOM: CAP CITIES
Brisbane: Hey guys! Let's go to the BEACH!!
Sydney: Cool, sounds like awesome fun! Let's go!
Canberra: I don't know, without an itinerary? Let's stand perfectly still for three hours instead
Hobart: Beeches have sande
Sydney: Cmon you guys, the weather is STUNNING there's an electricity in the air it's like POW!!!
Melbourne: I'm inclined to be in agreeance with what connotes your expression of enthusiasm.
Brisbane: Let's grab a beer while we're at it!
Canberra: Beer? OMG are you serious? I prefer flat soda water
Hobart: Pplz drink beer cuz they gets drunk lmaoz
USER CANBERRA TIMES OUT
Then aside from our capital city rival, we have the suburbs of Sydney feuding (Eastern Suburbs vs. Western vs Nothern) as well as the universities (USyd vs. UNSW).
I'm not sure why we feud amongst ourselves so much, I'm sure it's just jealousy... of everyone else towards Sydney. At least we can all agree (Canberra included) that Canberra's as flat as it is flat physically.
What do you think feuls the fire of our family feud? Add a comment...
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